I don’t even know if I have words to describe this mom’s moment properly. I went in to hook up the c-pap and oxygen, as always I ask do you need anything? Do you want to pee. She looks up sweetly and says “what honey” and “it’s ok, ohhh it’s snowing” with the most beautiful smile. I don’t know where she was tonight in her dreams or between here and there. But even if for only a moment she was filled with happiness. The photo is mom, my brother and I.
I used to write a lot more of the sweetness and spiciness of my mom’s on this side. Umair’s mother-in-law, the children of our flock, and our extended family have climbed uphill since August 2023. In August 2023, I took Mom to the hospital with what appeared to be a heart episode. The first hospital and we won’t mention any names, Amberwell Health, for the most part, ran a series of tests and diminished what each of us had been reporting. Then, we were put on spironolactone (sp). It is considered a wonder drug diuretic for people with heart failure. However, when you are in advanced kidney stage 3-B, it is contraindicated.
After what was almost two months of nightmares and some of the most horrific side effects, I finally convinced the doctors to discontinue the medicine! Yay! It’s about this time that we got connected with Dr. Patel at the Cotton O’Neil cardiologist team. I can’t say enough nice things about him. He not only cared about her heart but how her kidneys were functioning as well. Since that appointment, we have had two cardioversions, one pacemaker implant trip to the nephrology clinic, and trips to the pulmonology clinic. We’ve been to palliative care and pain management. This week, we enter the next phase, where they complete the AP mode ablation to get the pacemaker to communicate with her body. It is exciting that we might get her to feel a little better. A team of specialists advised me she would never be out of a fib. The pacemaker’s job is to hopefully override her body so she won’t be aware when she’s in active a fib. She’s also bradycardic.
Also, from the nephrologist, we may have flipped into acute kidney failure, which now may result in us meeting dialysis from the pacemaker implant and the beautiful things that pain meds and anesthesia do to people who have acute kidney failure!! From the pulmonology clinic, mom has COPD as a result of her worsening heart failure, which I previously forgot to mention heart failure. Also on the list of symptoms and requires oxygen around the clock! Most days are an uphill climb! Today, I’m grateful as I watch her changing cognitively, which may be a result of the vascular changes due to heart failure worsening. Mom also has diabetes, and the past week has been a never-ending saga of trauma from an intestinal flu bug. We’re fighting to get her ready for the surgery that will come later this week. Today, I’m grateful I got two kisses for one popsicle and could make it through two baths and one shower. I also have a disabled child who requires constant care. So, if anyone wonders why, I wish every day that USCIS would process our expedite and get Umair home. Does anyone know of a man who would stand by your side with all this other than a bonafide saint? I love him!
I have a few confessions
I love coffee
I have come to love chai because my husband introduced it to me
I love amazing pens
I also love journals
I love strolls in any kind of weather with my husband by my side
I love soft blankets
and warm and cozy sweaters
Take me to see animals
Walks in parks
Walks in the mountains
Walks around monkeys
Walks in the green planet, oh my lord
Walking around trees
My heart is overjoyed
every second you are with me
#travel, #kindness, #gratitude, #chasingmysparkle, #loved, #Umair, #fyp, #marriedlife, #writer
Roses are sometimes red
Violets are almost never blue
Flowers come in all colors
A kaleidoscope for all to see
Lighting up our world in vibrant colorful hues
True love and devotion is something rare indeed
Love when offered
Is a treasure you should never cast aside or hide it away
It is otherworldly
Perhaps
Magical
Certainly
Sparkly
Shout from the rooftops
Shout for anyone willing to hear
Love is precious
A gift some may never truly see
Share your love, light and kindness with the world today
The world could use a lot more love from you and me and the entire world today
#travel, #kindness, #gratitude, #chasingmysparkle, #loved, #Umair, #fyp, #marriedlife, #writer
Its early morning
I’ve barely wiped the sleep from my eyes
Laying here wishing your hands were on my thighs
Wishing for delightful kisses that deepen sweetly into so much more
More of us
More of my husband
More of everything that is entirely you and I
More of spring thunderstorms
Where you and I collide
More touches that become explorations of love
More of you
I await your pleasure
Umairi I love you
#travel, #kindness, #gratitude, #chasingmysparkle, #loved, #Umair, #fyp, #marriedlife
Roses are all shades of red
Violets almost never are perfectly blue
You walked into my life and WHAM
A love
A love
A love so profound
You had me way before you started teaching me Urdu
Of all the love songs, stories, poems and sonnets
You want to live with me in the USA and I fell in love with Pakistan and it’s beauty all around so now we have two homes in our hearts
All I know
All I know
All I know is from out of the freaking blue
You walked in and WHAM!!
I fell so deeply in love with you
I miss you more and more with each passing day! I miss you massively! Is there really any more to say! Except get home to me! Your late! I miss you deeply! Need you even more! Wish to the heavens you were walking through our front door!
💜Umair, meri jaan, meri pyaare, meri shohar main tumse mohabbat karta hun!
#travel, #kindness, #gratitude, #chasingmysparkle, #loved, #Umair, #fyp, #marriedlife
Roses, Posies and Pansies too
I am grateful
I am grateful for you
I am grateful you hold me tight
Saw all my wounds from the past held me tight and loved me even more
Wounds you didn’t cause but promised to kiss away the pain and you have gently and slowly each and every day
I am grateful for the whispers you offer to me, whispers of love meant only for me
I am grateful you protect me
I am grateful you protect our entire family
I am blessed
I really wish you could come home because I really freaking miss you every day
💜Umair, meri jaan, meri pyaare, meri shohar main tumse mohabbat karta hun!
#travel, #kindness, #gratitude, #chasingmysparkle, #loved, #Umair, #fyp, #marriedlife
I am so blessed
I am so blessed you see
I have the most wonderful perfect man who treasures, loves and adores me
I am blessed because he is bound by his faith to honor and protect me
We are devoted and bound by our vows, two hearts united before Allah and our family
He is my hero, though he doesn’t know it at all, he is not proud or boastful, not at all
He faces challenges every single day
He holds up our family in his hands every single day
He holds me, his wife, with such loving care!
Shows me every single day that he loves me
In every possible way though we are separated by miles
I love him equally the very same way so you see the blessings are double for us
The love that we have
The love that we share
Makes us lucky and blessed indeed
#travel, #kindness, #gratitude, #chasingmysparkle, #loved, #Umair, #fyp, #marriedlife
So as Umair and I have done all the work for our case today I was still overjoyed to hear and see the following progress. I want to be the woman that says Boundless Immigration was so amazing they made our journey so incredibly fantastic. I have now been waiting over 7 days since I paid the USCIS fees. This is on top of the other fees! We started with them on March 13,2024 and we have uploaded everything they ask within minutes of the request!! Still a month and a half later we are not even mailed yet. Now today I was told our expedite request “file” was damaged and not included. Within minutes I delivered a copy of expedite AGAIN. They are charging us a check fee even though they “say” they are using credit card. Now keep in mind, I write poetry, I’m a romantic obviously! I’m devoted to my Shohar! I just want our case to progress so my husband can come home. At 11:11 am, I sent the expedite file Again!
Roses are nearly always red
Violets are certainly vibrant shades of purply blue
Most days
Most days
My heart and body ache for you
Other days are a culmination of needing and missing you
So while roses are nearly always red but come in a kaleidoscope of colorful hues
Each and every day we have had to spend apart I have longed for you
I love you my baby
January 10, marks the day you made me officially yours
While I have loved you much longer
I have loved you much longer than all the Love Hallmark Cards in the world
I have loved you deeper than 1 terabyte of storage can express
#travel, #kindness, #gratitude, #chasingmysparkle, #loved, #Umair, #fyp, #marriedlife
Forest of Words 