Forest of Words

It’s that time again when the stars kiss our skies with millions and trillions of bright, twinkly lights

It’s that time when the moon rises to watch over each of us 

It’s that time of night when I miss you even more, Umair 

I miss your arms 

I miss your kisses

I miss you smelling my curls 

I miss the tease that is always so much more 

I miss the gentle storm that rises over us 

That turns into an eruption of lovers 

I miss you 

You are late! 

Get on a plane! 

#travel, #kindness, #gratitude, #chasingmysparkle, #loved, #Umair, #fyp, #marriedlife, #writer #lighttheworld

More times than I can count 

I try to rationalize in my head 

Why, as I watch this woman who was only ever able to love herself with the exception of my favorite aunt who always put my mom high on a pedestal

No matter if Mom lied, no matter what she did, Auntie felt she was going to love her in spite of every hurt or lie she ever told

My mother will tell you herself she is absolutely perfect and she always has been

I was only the horrible child who called begging her to come home from the bar! I only wanted my mom to find a tiny space in her heart to love me, because I happened to love her completely

As I watch her body slowly falling apart because of the lifestyle choices she always chose

I am not saying it’s wrong or right the things she did because who am I or anyone to judge?

It is still horribly painful

Because her brain is tearing her to shreds 

Tormented by thoughts that are or seem rational inside her head

She wanders the house at night, certain she hears people whispering outside her window, out on the road, or behind closed doors

She has hit me 

She has pinched me

She has said some of the cruelest things 

I cry and I pray to Allah these things she doesn’t mean 

What is crueler, though

She won’t remember what she is doing to me 

Or anyone 

In her mind, she is the one tormented 

The cruelest part of dementia, delirium, or Alzheimer’s disease is 

Its are slowly, bit by bit 

It takes all of her memories, today she remembers many years ago but can’t remember earlier today

She doesn’t remember any of the things she says or does

The shell of the person that no matter what she has done, anytime or anywhere 

The woman is my mother , and I will be the person I am meant to be

Now full disclosure on this I believe my mom is in what is called AKD delirium it happens when the kidney disease is approaching renal failure. My mom also has a new pacemaker, AV Node Ablation, A-Fib, brachycardia, bradycardia, tachy-brach syndrome also known as Adam Stokes syndrome, heart failure, COPD, diabetes which I think she was diabetic her entire life but diagnosed as an adult. So everyday is an uphill battle!

#travel, #kindness, #gratitude, #chasingmysparkle, #loved, #Umair, #fyp, #marriedlife, #writer #lighttheworld

I’m lying in our bed thinking of you 

I need to feel your arms around me

I need to feel the shelter of your embrace protecting me

I love you 

I need you with me 

I constantly think of every single way possible to be together physically 

If we were together right now, you get kisses 

And so much more 

It’s been a tough couple of weeks 

I love you 

#travel, #kindness, #gratitude, #chasingmysparkle, #loved, #Umair, #fyp, #marriedlife, #writer #lighttheworld

Raindrops kerplop on the sidewalk 

Each drop 

Drop

Drop 

Reminders of you

Sweet delicious kisses from you

Sweet tender caresses from you

You loving me thoroughly

Deeply

Sweetly

Completely

Raindrops kerplop in the grass

Pitter patter kerplop

You are all the sounds my heart sings 

You are my everything 

You are my joy

You are my light

You are my love

Raindrops kerplop-ing everywhere 

Ask me how long I will love you 

There are not enough numbers in our world to articulate 

Ask me how long I will love you 

As many raindrops have ever fallen from the sky

Ask me how long I will love you 

As many stars have ever lit our skies

Ask me how long I will love you 

As many words I have uttered in verse for you and all the ones to follow 

Ask me how long I will love you 

I promise to show you all the rest of our lives

With all my heart,

Mrs. Umair 

#travel, #kindness, #gratitude, #chasingmysparkle, #loved, #Umair, #fyp, #marriedlife, #writer #lighttheworld

Videos and photos always by Umair

My words are soft

Even though I have so much to say 

I listen to the world and its echoes 

On replay 

My words are gentle 

Even when the words are shouting in my brain

My words are thoughtful 

Well, because that’s what words should be 

A soft and gentle caress that reminds you of me

My words 

My words 

As they begin to dance 

A captivating calypso of pirouettes in dance

My words 

My words 

They say all that you need to hear

Come closer, my love 

My darling 

Let me whisper in your ear 

Ma tum sa bohaat pyar karti hoon Umair 

#travel, #kindness, #gratitude, #chasingmysparkle, #loved, #Umair, #fyp, #marriedlife, #writer #lighttheworld

Roses are red

Violets can sometimes be blue

When I think of my life 

My happiness

My love, everything surrounds you 

You are my heart 

We have shared 750 days, and it’s not even nearly enough 

I stand up for the right to be together and love you in all the ways that we want 

Other people get to hold their spouse at night and cuddle

And that’s all that I want, and more 

I love you 

I love you 

I only want what’s mine, and that is and always has been entirely you 

You and I are bound, souls 

Across the sands of time 

#travel, #kindness, #gratitude, #chasingmysparkle, #loved, #Umair, #fyp, #marriedlife, #writer #lighttheworld

In every moment spent without you 

There is a monsoon of Fridays that rages out of control

In every moment spent without you 

There is an ache inside my heart filled with all the moments I want to share with you 

In every moment spent without you 

There is an iceberg of longing entirely for you, where the tip is visible, but the sheer magnitude is never truly known

In every moment spent without you 

There is space and time and love 

Love that has grown

Love that has blossomed 

Love that has endured 

#travel, #kindness, #gratitude, #chasingmysparkle, #loved, #Umair, #fyp, #marriedlife, #writer #lighttheworld

Dear heart

Who even knew I could begin to exist when I have ached and longed for you every single day 

Dear heart

There are a million reasons why I love you 

And nearly 8000 miles that keep us apart each day

Dear heart 

Each day I wake up, I fight the urge to jump on a plane and leap into your arms 

I don’t need anything but you and your arms and that place on your chest that is entirely mine 

Dear heart

For every mile that separates us today

There are the same number of ways I want to tell you I love you today

There are the same number of ways I want to feel you close to me 

There are the same number of ways I want to hear your heart beating in my ear

Dear heart

Have I told you today 

Listen to my pledge as I whisper it softly to the moon, and you greet the early morning sun rays

There are nearly 8000 thousand wishes I whisper each night 

Protect my heart 

Bring him home to me

#travel, #kindness, #gratitude, #chasingmysparkle, #loved, #Umair, #fyp, #marriedlife, #writer #lighttheworld

Exhaustion consumes me 

It doesn’t feel like I slept at all last night

Haunted 

By your touches

I want to feel your lips sweetly on mine

I want to spend hours wrapped in your arms 

And you, in mine

I want to feel the pressure of those delicious kisses as they deepen, becoming so much more 

I want to feel your fingers softly exploring every inch of me 

I want to feel the warmth of your golden sunkissed skin

I want to kiss your shoulders while you sleep 

I want to feel the pressure of your body as you sweetly enter me

Delicious 

Intoxicating 

Warm

Feel our bodies collide in this sensual storm

Feel the aftermath of our love

It’s morning now, and I don’t think I slept much all night 

Exhaustion

Need

You are on my mind

I fucking need you by my side 

#travel, #kindness, #gratitude, #chasingmysparkle, #loved, #Umair, #fyp, #marriedlife, #writer #lighttheworld

Baby

My sweet baby 

I can’t get you off my mind

Love you

Want you 

I need you all the time

Lately

There is only one thought controlling my mind

I need to feel you 

I want to hold you 

I want to feel your arms around me

I want all the moments everyone else takes for granted each night 

I want to hold my husband 

I want to feel you holding me

Tenderly

Fiercely 

I want to travel around 

See buildings holding your hand

Feel you next to me

Nerd out on all the history 

I want to share a burger and fries with you and talk about all the things we saw deep into the night 

Where my eyes become heavy, and I snuggle in closer to you 

Saturday evening is closing in on me, and you are in the wee morning hours of Sunday, dreaming

I have one thought forever on my brain

You’re late! It’s time to get on that freaking plane! 

#travel, #kindness, #gratitude, #chasingmysparkle, #loved, #Umair, #fyp, #marriedlife, #writer #lighttheworld